Resources for Battling Sexual Lust

It seems recently in my life that there has been an increase in the discussion of men struggling with sexual lust. Consequently, the topic of lust has been on my mind and heart lately. In the hope that someone may be helped by my sharing how God has helped me fight lust, I am going to briefly discuss lust in my own life.

Before I begin, there are two disclaimers. First, I believe that the only true freedom and victory over lust comes from the empowering grace of God and the guiding of the Holy Spirit, which are made available only through Jesus Christ. In other words, Jesus is the source of overcoming lust. Second, lust is defined as a strong desire or craving for something. In our culture, lust carries a negative connotation, primarily due its relation to sexuality. Furthermore, lust can apply to many areas other than sexuality. One can lust over power, position, cars, boats, good relationships, technology, etc… The point is that lust is not only associated with sexuality and can be just as sinful when applied to other areas. However, for the purposes here, whenever lust is mentioned, it refers to the strong desire of sex in a sinful manner.

I have struggled with lust since a young age. I viewed my first Playboy at twelve years old and saw my first X-rated film a couple of years later. I became a Christian at the age of fourteen but, even under conviction, still pursued sexual sin through multiple facets (though, by God’s grace was kept physically pure). It wasn’t until I was 18 years old that I received my first accountability partner through a college small group at my church. This accountability relationship changed my life forever and gave me my first glimpse of a biblical Christian community. I truly believe that one of the most crucial steps to sexual freedom is accountability. In addition to an accountability partner, I also installed accountability software on my computers. (My wife and other accountability partners still hold me accountable through this software today.) In my case, the internet was a gateway to much sin and I needed to guard that gateway. There are several options for internet protection:

• x3Watch (Recommended)
• Covenant Eyes
• Safe Eyes

Above all else, the Scriptures were the true agent of change in my life. Several scriptures that were particularly helpful to me include:

• 1 Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
• 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 – “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
• Ephesians 5:3 “But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.”
• Job 31 – “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?”
• Proverbs 4:23 – “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”

One of the best illustrations that helped me visualize my battle with lust was a sumo wrestling match. You are in the ring with a sumo wrestler, who represents your sex drive, and you must win the match by pushing him out of the ring. You are thrown into the ring every time a sexual temptation is presented to you. The key to winning the matches is to starve the sumo wrestler. The sumo wrestler is only fed by the sexual sin that you allow into your thoughts. The more you avoid and stop lustful thoughts, the smaller the sumo wrestler will be. Essentially, you need to starve your sex drive of sexual sin so that temptations are easier to overcome. There were several things that helped me starve my sinful sex drive:

• Truly believing and holding on to 1 Cor. 10:13 (and many other promises in Scripture)
• Viewing my sin as God does
• A true desire to remove the sin
• Accountability with another godly guy
• Intentionally stop pursuing sexual sin
• Read books that offered practical advice

Tips to avoiding Sexual Sin:

• Know and stand on Scripture as the very Word of our great and mighty Creator.
• Repeat 1 Cor. 10:13 (or any other Scripture that you find fitting) when tempted.
• Bounce your eyes (you are not responsible for the first look, but you are accountable for the second one)
• Maintain an accountability partner that will actually ask the hard questions.
• Load accountability software on your computer. (I recommend x3Watch because it works and it is free)
• Realize your weak areas and purposely avoid putting yourself into situations that will exploit your weakness
• Read books

Some books that have helped me:

• Porn Again Christian by Mark Driscoll – This a short and blunt book directed specifically at guys. It is available as a free download.
• Sex is Not the Problem (Lust Is) by Joshua Harris – Harris evaluates the problem of lust for both men and women.

I am still tempted by lust in my thought life, but by God’s grace I no longer pursue it. My prayer is that you might also find freedom from sexual sin through Christ’s redeeming power and grace.

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~ by Brad Copeland on May 8, 2009.